My rabbit is dying.
This won't be lighthearted or fun, so you might want to stop reading right now. I'm just getting my pain and frustration out. I've had Mordecai for about 5 or 6 years... I've lost count. He's old for a rabbit, to be sure. I've known this day was coming for some time. But he's my favorite pet, and it hurts.
Years ago, I had a little blue canary I kept in my den. He was a messy pet, but a lot of fun. When my father passed away, we had to pack up and head downstate in a hurry. We took the dog to a kennel, but forgot about the bird. We came home a week later, and there lay Hermie... dead of starvation at the bottom of his cage. I totally lost it, as you might imagine. Just a dumb bird, but it was my fault.
Pam and I didn't have our son until we were 9 years into our marriage. So our dog Rascal was our kid for those early years. Having Rascal put to sleep when she was too sick to go on was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I held her for those last moments, and gently pet her, trying to put her at ease. But it won't be as easy for Mordecai. I can't afford to do anything but let nature take its course. He can't get up and walk, and it looked like he was having seizures last night.
Yeah, I know. It's a rabbit. A stupid rabbit. But he was still my companion when I needed a laugh. Holding my bunny when I was having a bad day somehow made it better. I'll miss him.
So I'm through with pets. The pain of saying goodbye over and over again is just too much. I'll just stick with my fish tank from now on.
I have a really hard time getting attached to a guppy.
UPDATE: I couldn't stand watching Mordi suffer anymore. I took him to the vet and had him "put to sleep" this morning. Couldn't afford to do it, but couldn't afford not to. My little friend is out of his misery, and that's what counts.