With tongue firmly implanted in cheek, I present my deepest gratitude toward whoever it is out there who is setting the higher gas prices. Please, I'm begging, don't stop at $4 a gallon!
After all, you're saving me money in the long run. I've already decided not to go to any more ball games this year. The gas alone costs me nearly twice as much as my ticket. I'm spending $28 just to get in the door for a minor league baseball game. Add the cost of a Diet Coke and a pretzel (who can afford a $6.75 chicken wrap?) and I'm spending $35 a game. So my two games a month will be reduced to zero. I save $70!! Alternative: I'll have to walk down to the local little league fields and watch the kids play. Guess I'll support my local charities by purchasing a coffee and some popcorn for $2.
Oh, those monthly trips to the Bay City Mall? Forget about it. $16 for gas, another $20 for lunch, in addition to anything we might pick up at the stores? Just not worth it. Money saved: $36. Alternative: Go stroll the downtown antique stores instead and see what's new. Get it... antiques... new? Guess I'll have to support my local retailers instead.
Oh, and a vacation? Ha ha ha! The greater Upper Peninsula economy will have to get along without us this year. Somehow, I think Mackinac City will survive. Munising, you're on your own. Sorry about your luck. Alternative: Guess I'll just have to enjoy the Fabulous Friday events downtown, the Victorian Art Fair, County Fair, and Tuesdays in the Park concerts. I'll pitch my tent in the backyard and brew up some hot cocoa on the stove. Doggone my luck.
What to do with my car in the driveway and nowhere to go? Guess I'll have to do more walking. Gosh, I might actually lose some of the weight I gained over the winter. Maybe I'll finally get my garage cleaned out, finish reading "A Tale of Two Cities," tend to the vegetable garden and clean the yard. Maybe I'll even spend more time playing outside with my kid, and take him to the park for lunch. And all that money I'm saving by not going out of town? Maybe now I can afford to pay our quarterly water bill that the city more than doubled last year.
On second thought, maybe this wasn't so tongue in cheek after all.