Monday, March 14, 2011

The View From the Stands

And now, Music and Pancakes is proud to take you to the First United Evangelical Church of the Holy Ghost Brotherhood in Anytown USA, for this morning's message:

"Good morning, brothers and sisters. This is the day the LORD has made!"

"Amen!"

"It is good to be in the house of the Lord."

"Amen"

"I said it is good to be in the house of the Lord this morning!" (Insert dramatic organ riff here)

"Yes, come on, preacher. Amen!"

"I want you to know that our God is good!"

"All the time!"

"All the time..."

"God is good!" (Insert wild applause here)

"Take your Bibles and open to the book of Ephesians, chaptah four, verse numbah 11..." (Pages being turning) The Bible says, "It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be pastors and teachers-ah, to prepare God's people-ah, for works of service-ah, so that the body of Christ may be built up!"

"Yes! Come on now, preach it brother!"

"I want you to know this morning church, that this is not a spectator sport-ah! God doesn't want us sitting in the stands-ah. He is calling you out of your comfort zone this morning!" (Organ music rises to a crescendo, congregation stands to their feet) The Lord says it's not only the Pastor's job to do the work of the ministry-ah, it's not his job to run the nursery-ah, it's not his job to pass out the bulletins or shovel the sidewalk-ah, it's the job of the Pastor to lead the people.. to equip all of you to fulfill your destiny... to be disciples of Christ so that you can have the honor and privilege of serving our Lord by doing the work of the ministry! Can I get an Amen?"

Silence.

(Congregation sits down)

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